Episode 189: [Doula Talk] Setting Clear Boundaries
Hey Mamas!
In this episode of the Entering Motherhood podcast, Sarah Marie Bilger and Katelyn Bayless discuss the importance of setting boundaries. They emphasize how clear boundaries help mothers advocate for themselves and create supportive environments. Practical examples include managing family interactions and avoiding negative birth stories. The conversation aims to empower mothers with tools and insights to navigate their motherhood journey confidently, highlighting that consistent boundary-setting can ease transitions and affirm a mother's choices.
Why Boundaries Matter
Sarah kicks off the episode by emphasizing the significance of boundaries in the motherhood journey. Boundaries are essential for self-advocacy and for creating a nurturing environment for both mothers and their babies. Without clear boundaries, it becomes challenging for mothers to articulate their needs and for healthcare providers to understand how to support them effectively.
Advocacy and Boundaries
Katelyn shares her passion for the topic, highlighting that boundaries and advocacy go hand in hand. She stresses the importance of being decisive about what one wants during pregnancy and birth. For instance, if a mother desires an unmedicated birth, she should communicate that clearly rather than expressing uncertainty. This clarity helps healthcare providers align their support with the mother's wishes.
Managing Family Interactions
One of the common challenges expectant mothers face is dealing with unsolicited advice or negative birth stories from relatives. Katelyn encourages mothers to assertively communicate their preferences. Here are some practical tips:
Expressing Preferences: Politely but firmly state your preferences. For example, "I appreciate your experience, but I would prefer to focus on positive stories."
Setting the Tone Early: When announcing a pregnancy, set the tone by expressing your desire for positive support rather than sharing traumatic birth stories. This proactive approach helps create a nurturing environment that aligns with your wishes.
Consistency is Key
Maintaining boundaries requires consistency. When mothers consistently communicate their needs, family members and friends learn to respect those boundaries. Here are some strategies:
Reiterate Preferences: If a family member repeatedly shares negative birth experiences, gently but firmly reiterate your preference not to hear those stories.
Practice During Pregnancy: Practicing boundary-setting during pregnancy can ease the transition into postpartum. As you become accustomed to asserting your needs, you'll find it easier to navigate challenging conversations about parenting choices, such as feeding practices or childcare arrangements.
Affirming Your Choices
Setting boundaries is not just about denying others; it's also about affirming your own choices. By setting boundaries, mothers are essentially saying "yes" to their intuition and the needs of their babies. This shift in perspective can make it easier for mothers to embrace their decisions and feel empowered in their roles.
Reflecting on Your Experiences
Sarah encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences and consider what boundaries they want to establish. She invites them to share their thoughts and questions, fostering a sense of community and support among mothers. These conversations are not only beneficial for expectant mothers but can also provide valuable insights for doulas and other support professionals.
Actionable Tips for Setting Boundaries
During Pregnancy
Communicate Clearly: Be clear and decisive about your birth preferences with your healthcare provider.
Set the Tone Early: When announcing your pregnancy, express your desire for positive support.
Manage Unsolicited Advice: Politely but firmly communicate your preferences regarding advice and stories.
During Birth
Advocate for Your Wishes: Ensure your birth plan is communicated to your healthcare team.
Stay Firm: If your preferences are challenged, stay firm and reiterate your wishes.
Postpartum
Consistent Communication: Continue to communicate your needs and preferences consistently.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your boundaries.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your boundaries and adjust them as needed to ensure they continue to serve you and your baby.
As the episode wraps up, Sarah reiterates the importance of setting boundaries and encourages mothers to embrace their power in making informed choices. The episode serves as a reminder that every mother’s journey is unique, and by advocating for themselves, they can create a positive and supportive environment for their families.
Listeners are invited to subscribe, share the episode, and reach out with questions or topics they would like to explore in future discussions. The Entering Motherhood podcast aims to be a go-to resource for mothers seeking guidance and support throughout their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences.
By setting clear boundaries, mothers can navigate their motherhood journey with confidence, ensuring a supportive and nurturing environment for themselves and their babies.
Entering Motherhood Links
>> O.W.N. Your Birth CBE Course
>> Birthworker Doula Training Program
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